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اس نے قومی و بین الاقوامی کھلاڑیوں کو ریلو کٹے کہا، اندھےعقیدت مندوں نے ریلو کٹے کو بوسکی کا سوٹ پہنایا اور چومنا شروع کردیا۔
اس نے انہی کھلاڑیوں کو پھٹیچر کہا تو اندھے عقیدت مندوں نے پھٹیچرکو اردو لغت میں تلاش کرکے بتایا کہ وہ تو بارہویں کھلاڑے کو کہتے ہیں۔
اس نے کوکین زیادہ سونگھ لی اور بولا موسم چار نہیں بلکہ بارہ ہوتے ہیں۔ عقیدت مند دوڑے اور دیسی اور ولایتی مہینوں کو ملا کر بارہ موسم بنا ڈالے۔
اس نے اپنے ورکروں کو کہنیوں سے دھکے مارے تو یہ اسےقائد محترم کی شفقت کہتے رہے۔ اس نے ایک جلسے میں تقریر کرنے سے پہلے کراچی سے اپنی پارٹی کے لیڈر عمران اسماعیل کو دھکا دے کر کہا پیچھے ہٹو عمران اسماعیل کھسیانی ہنسی ہنس کر پرے ہٹ گیا۔
اس نے دو ہزار چودہ کےدھرنے میں کہا، ’’جہاں میرے کارکن سوئیں گے میں وہیں سوؤں گا‘‘، کارکن ساری رات بارش میں بھیگتے رہےاور یہ خود بناسپتی انقلابی اپنے نرم گرم بستر میں گھس کر سوگیا۔
اُس نے سول نافرمانی تحریک کا سب سے پہلے آغاز سرعام اپنا بجلی کا بل جلاکر کیا، پھر اگلے ہی ماہ اپنا بل جمع بھی کروا دیا کہ سردی میں ٹھنڈے پانی سے نہانا مشکل ہے اور گیزر کو چلانا بہت ضروری تھا۔
اس نے بیٹی زینب کے لیے انصاف کا نعرہ بلند کیا تو اس کے عقیدت مند بھی چیخ اٹھے۔ اس نے چارسدہ اور شب قدر کے واقعات پر آنکھیں بند کیں تو اس کے کے ورکروں نے بھی عاصمہ بیٹی پر ہونے ہونے والی زیادتی پر زبان سی لی۔ ایک صحافی نے جب سوال کیا تو کہنے لگا، ’’تم تو ہو ہی جیو کے صحافی تم نے ایسے ہی سوال پوچھنے ہیں مجھ سے۔‘‘
وہ سٹیج پر جب کھڑا ہوتا تو اوئے اوئے کہہ کر اپنے مخالفین کو پکارتا رہا اور یہ پاگل سبحان اللہ کہتے رہے۔
126 دن کنٹینر پر بے مقصد موسیقی کی طنابوں پر رقص کرتا رہا اور جھوٹے پیر کی طرح سے روز حکومت کے خاتمے کی پیش گوئی کرتا رہا، ایک ڈیڈ لائن گزرتی تو دوسری دے دیتا پھر تیسری پھر ہر روز اپنی ہی دی گئی ڈیڈ لائن میں توسیع کرتا رہتا، جب ورکروں نے آناچھوڑ دیا توبار بار انہیں کہتا کہ سب ادھر آؤ فوری پہنچو امپائر کی انگلی اٹھنے والی ہے۔ ہر دن اور ہرشب سوتے جاگتے امپائر کی انگلی کے اٹھنے کاانتظار کرتا رہتا لیکن جب امپائر سے مایوس ہوگیا تو بولا میں تو اللہ تعالی کو امپائرکہہ رہا تھا۔
چوری چھپے شادیاں کرتا اور انہیں چھپاتا، جب صحافی خبر لیک کر دیتے تو انہیں گالیاں دیتاہے۔
گدھا ریڑھی کامالک جب گدھے کے بچے کو ریڑھی پہ جوتنا سکھاتا ہے تو وہ گدھے کے ساتھ باہر والی سائیڈپر اسے باندھ دیتا ہے، جسے ’’پخ‘‘ کہتے ہیں۔ وہ اچھلتا کودتا بھاگتا رہتا ہے کیونکہ اس کے کاندھوں پر کوئی وزن نہیں ہوتا اور سمجھتا ہے کہ گدھا تو بالکل ہی نکما اور کام چور ہے۔ یہ ریڑھی کھینچنا کونسا مشکل کام ہے۔ پھر جب اس گدھے کو باقاعدہ ریڑھی میں جوت کر وزن کھینچنا پڑتا ہے، تب اسے پتہ چلتا ہے کہ ذمہ داری کسے کہتے ہیں۔
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